do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
