take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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