awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
