Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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