OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
