Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's just like the Real World with babies
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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