clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
