Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
