there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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