she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
