I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
