In America we eat man semen.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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