she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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