I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
