OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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