I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
