there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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