i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
