Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
