therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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