My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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