evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
