we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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