It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
