My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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