I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize