Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
