then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
