every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
