You work out of a Hotel?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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