At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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