This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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