i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
