his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
