is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
