Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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