Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
