i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We were destined to go to rehab together
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
