Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize