as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
