how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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