no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
