Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize