You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
