She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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