i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
