I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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