Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
