Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize