Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Send help, water and tortillas.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
