Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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