"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
