I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
