Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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