Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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