spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
