YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
