Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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