I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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